Adult

What does it even mean to be an adult? I used to think that it meant at a certain age I'd be sure of myself. Know how to handle new situations. Apparently that isn't the case. I have no clue what I'm doing. Sure I'm able to do some things better than I used to, my apartment is normally clean now, I actually attend school....

But still. I'm a bit scared of my future. While the desire is there for my future career, it's kind of terrifying to think that I will one day be a responsible contributing member of society. After all, I've never had a "real" job. I've worked retail (which I've LOVED! Strangers are simply amazing and wonderful) and I've worked as a nanny (which was the best experience of my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything). Those aren't careers though.

And why am I freaking out about this now? No idea except, well, I do like to be prepared, freak out at the very beginning of my endeavors so I can have more confidence when I should be freaking out, logical way to be illogical. Other option is that now all my service opportunities aren't just ways to have fun and help people, but are more focused on getting me into a MSW program which is at least four years away from now. Wait a minute, I have to do certain things now to get the outcome I want in a few years? That is a little too scary. I think I'm going to just ignore my future. It can stay four years away forever. I'll just find some kid who needs help reading to calm me down.